Hindsight
by Salmastryon
Summary: All Hajime had of his past was a katana and a gaping hole in his memory.


_Disclaimer:_ "_Weiss Kruez_, _Weiss Kreuz: Gluhen_," and all of their characters were created by and belong to Koyasu Takehito and Project Weiss. They were used without prior permission. No profit is made through this story.

The story is set many years after the end of Gluhen and ignores Side B.

This was written for **Betelbug**. Look B, your plot bunny has finally given fruit!

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Hindsight:  
Nearsighted, Part I  
by  
Salmastryon

He could hear her humming to herself in the other room while she worked. If he closed his eyes, he could see her, sleeves rolled up, hair piled up on top of her head. That one errant black curl of hair, that never seemed to stay up, would lay enticingly down the nap of her neck. With a few steady, unobtrusive steps he would make his way to the doorway. There, he would take a few moments to admire her, smooth, lean arms raising and hanging clean clothes to dry.

When the last item was raised and attached to the line, he'd pounce on her from behind, burying his nose in her neck and drinking in her fresh scent. She'd let out a startled shriek and then turn in his arms, laughing, going for his ribs. They would have a good chase until they'd collapse together on the bed. Soon after, the laughter would be replaced with quiet murmurs and a pleasure of a different sort.

Instead, Hajime was looking at the door to the closet. Behind which, wrapped in cloth and carefully stored away, lay his only real link to his past. Of all his possessions from when they dug him out of the building's debris, the katana was the only one to invoke any reaction. There was some task involving it, some thing he'd left undone, that held such importance even memory loss could not dull the urgency. Even now, seven years later, it worried away at his mind.

He found himself getting up and sliding open the closet door. Carefully, Hajime reached for the long box, removed it from its place, and set it on the floor in front of him. His hands trembled slightly as he removed the top. Black, red and purple interlocked together in conflict, not the most pleasing pattern to the eye, but the cloth had seemed right to him. Tentatively Hajime let his fingers touch the soft fabric. Now that he had given into the need to reassure himself of the katana's continued presence, the urgency had abated somewhat.

With a final caress, he let the cloth fall away. He carefully drew the blade out part way. Tilting it, Hajime studied the deadly curve of metal, which he had long since memorized. It was unchanged and revealed nothing to him but a pair of green eyes, reflected in the blade. No new impressions or memories came to make the decision preying upon his mind any easier. He slammed the blade home with a reverberating clang. His thoughts churned. Why was he here, with this piece of cold steel, when he could be with a warm body?

A soft hand on his shoulder jarred his internal debate, releasing all his mental turmoil into his body. His body coiled tight in startled tension, almost vibrating with the need to lash out. Around the katana, Hajime's hands tightened, turning white.

"Oh, Hajime," she sighed in sympathy. There was a shifting of cloth and her warm presence settled next to him. Through the cloth of his shirt he could feel the gentle touch of her hand as it traveled down his arm reassuringly, and the violent tension bled out of his frame.

His brown hair fell forward hiding his face as he ducked his head and curled in on himself. His mind filled with shame and a shaky unease washing out all traces irritation. Right now, he knew if Asuka saw his face, she would know, know all about the returning bouts of despair and anger, and about the decision he had been hiding from her. Asuka would wonder why the bouts had returned when they had previously lost their edge and faded to a rarity. He wouldn't be able to keep from her the shaky hope and the sickening guilt, so he struggled to keep it all inside, contained and hidden.

"Hajime?" Her voice rose in a slight query and the hand changed to move in small soothing circles on this back.

Asuka's gentle inquiry was too much to bear. Inside, Hajime felt as if he was being squeezed into a tight ball; outside, he was acutely aware of her presence. He fell forward into her arms. His face pressed into her warm softness, as he tried to escape the conflicting internal pressures. Her hand faltered momentarily before it was joined by the other and she pulled him into a soothing embrace. Something released, and Hajime fought to control his facial muscles as they twitched and tightened in silent sobs.

They sat there as he soaked in her love and Asuka waited with patient acceptance for him to speak. The rise and fall of her breast and the soft thud of her heart engulfed his senses, relaxing the tension inside him. The moment of peace was brought to an abrupt end by the returning awareness of the smooth lacquer in his hands. The katana still lay securely in his grip.

Hajime reluctantly left her embrace and straightened himself. He could feel her inquiring look on his bowed head. He stared fixedly at his hands holding the katana. "It happened about a month ago when I was on that business trip."

He still couldn't meet her in the eye, afraid of the fear he expected to see, but he could offer a small comfort for what was to come. He removed one of his hands from the katana to grasp hers. "I met someone who knew me from before."

The only response was a slight tremble in the hand he held. It almost brought a small smile of pride to his face; that was his Asuka, so brave and patient.

"Apparently, I was a detective. I had helped her father track down his sister," he spoke detachedly, the words of the story spilling from his lips in a matter of fact tone. "They're both dead now. Mrs. Hayashi, herself, was only a teen when she met me, and that was only briefly. But, her father had kept one of my business cards." His hands tightened on the katana sheath turning his knuckles white. "She was more than willing to give me a copy when I explained the situation."

Hajime paused, glaring fixedly at the floor. Unidentified emotions rolled in him as he gathered the will to continue. Asuka shifted her hand and ran her thumb soothingly across his. It had the opposite effect. His body tightened abruptly, and his voice took on a harsh edge.

"Asuka, the dreams are back," he rasped. "I thought I'd put it all behind me and now they're back. And this!" Hajime shook the katana emphatically as his voice rose, "won't leave me alone. It keeps haunting me, nagging me, like there is something I'm forgetting!" He let out a choked laugh. "As if I can remember anything from before the hospital."

"My poor Hajime. You're pushing yourself too hard again. Now look at me," Asuka commanded. Her hand gripped Hajime's firmly and as he raised his head, her eyes were steady. "No matter what you discover, that is the past. We are together here and now, and we will figure out how to work past whatever you may find." The fear that had scared him so was there, but so too was her forthright determination and love. "Tomorrow you will call Mr. Fujiwara and have him look into this," she told him firmly. "Then, we will see where that card takes us."

He looked at her in shock and murmured, "But, the baby..."

"Hajime," her voice softened, "I'm not blind. This has been eating at you and building over the last month. Mr. Fujiwara isn't that expensive. We can afford to spend some more to bring you a little peace." He wanted to protest, but Asuka continued on before he could interject. "Besides, you'll do neither of us any good, working yourself into a jumbled mess. It is better to take care of this now, because I expect to be waited on hand and foot when I get fat," she teased.

There was a moment while Hajime took in what she had said. Then, a smile twitched his lips and he mischievously commented, "I do rather like this hand..." He brought her hand up to his lips. Carefully placing the katana in the box first, he moved his other hand down to stroke Asuka's ankle. "and the foot, but I think I need a little practice at this worshiping thing." With a smooth motion he spilled her over onto her back on the padded surface of the tatame floor.

"I said waiting, waiting, not worshiping," she laughed. Her eyes momentarily grew serious as she looked up at him. Touching his cheek she asked, "You will do as I ask?"

"Yes," he sighed. "But, for now," he grinned, and undid her hair spreading it across the mat, "I've got a gorgeous wife to worship."

In reality, Hajime hadn't called until two weeks later. At the time, he'd known he had been procrastinating. He probably would still have been if it weren't for Asuka. All it had taken was her hand on her belly, a turn to show her profile and the comment, "Is it starting to show?" Gently, he had laced his fingers with hers and caressed her belly. Later that day, he had called Mr. Fujiwara.

He hadn't really expected the address on the card to still be valid, but Hajime had hoped it would give Mr. Fujiwara something to work with. The results had been far beyond his expectations. Mr. Fujiwara had come back with a thick folder choked full of records, photographs and interviews, all about one Youji Kudou.

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Comments? Suggestions? File folders? 

_Author's Notes: _  
Special thanks go out to **Muki** and **OptiMoose** who encouraged me to get my nose to the grinding stone and really get this written. Also, thanks go out to **Zelgadis55**,** OptiMoose** and** JeiC** their kind betaing of this chapter. _(12/20/04: Minor editing changes fixed thanks to **BloodDebt **and **Murasaki**.)_

This story came out of my frustration at the ending of Gluhen and my dislike of Weiss Side B's resolution of it and a couple of plot bunnies the **Betelbug** sicced on me. As to how I'm going to resolve things you will have to wait and see.

You may be wondering about why I chose the name Hajime. There are a number of reasons. The most important being that Hajime is one of the readings of his new name. When I started this story I rewatched all of Weiss Kreuz and noticed that while Youji doesn't remember his name at the end of Gluhen, a new name is never mentioned outloud. However, on the Itou's apartment door his name is written. I did a name search on the kanji and came up with a long list of possibilities. The most likely names of the bunch would have been Hajime(beginning), Makoto(sincere), Ryou(strength) or Yoshi(reed, good, reason/significance). Makoto, Ryou and Yoshi are all really common names, and there is something about Makoto I just like, but Hajime seemed the most apt due to his amnesia.


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